Le Art

Switching topics over to art....

Its funny how something small can get your wheals turning... or in my case, spinning in place.

I frequent a crafter's website called Cut Out and Keep and on their boards a woman started a post asking if anyone had a deviant art. I posted a link to my own site, and took a look at the others. Since most the people there are crafters, their deviant arts are filled with basic arts and crafts. One deviant art, however, had some pretty amazing art. This of course led me to take a second look at my own art... some of it mediocre, some of it not half bad and some better then I could do now. As much as I love it art frustrates me. My friends, family and boyfriend have always been very supportive and encouraging for me to branch out in any art but they get very confused at my frustration with it.

In an amazing foreign film called Departures a Korean man gives up his dream of being a concert cellist which results in a drastic career shift to a kind of spiritual mortician.  Aside from being a touching movie a particular line has always spoken to me. As Diago comes to terms with the ending of his musical career he says, "l should've realized the limit to my talent a lot sooner". He is a very good cellist, better then the average musician, but not amazing enough to make anything of himself.

This is me.
I know I have some talent for art, I have an eye and some skill that the average person doesn't possess, but not enough to truly be any good. I struggle to imagine a scene without specific references to base my work on. I have a knack for imitation but not enough skill to execute anything creative. I try but then I see the work of others and I'm just blown away. It's so frustrating! It's like understanding another language but not being able to speak more then a few broken sentences. I still have family that asks why I didn't go into art as a career... I tell them its because I wouldn't enjoy it then (which is true) because it's simpler then explaining that I just wouldn't cut it.

Whats worse, years of not honing the skills I do have has made them start fade. Just trying to sketch a something decent is proving to be difficult. I don't know. It's something I'd like to rededicate myself to but just don't know if the final result will be worth the effort. I guess it doesn't matter, I don't have much time to do anything right now anyways. It's just very... frustrating.